A few days ago I did something for my spiritual health that I've needed to do for a while.
I took a bubble bath.
Sounds silly, right? And at first I thought so, too. I thought my mind was trying to justify spending an hour in a bathtub full of berry-scented bubbles when I had other things that needed to get done.
But either way, I thought I could use the relaxation...you don't have to know me well at all to know that I worry and stress about anything and everything. So I gave in and took a bubble bath.
What's funny is, I learned things from this bubble bath. Important things that God has been trying to get through to me for a while.
First, as I soaked in the warm water, everything on my body that was dirty at began to wash away. The dirt, the sweat, the baby slobbers from my baby brother's kisses, all of it. Gone.
It would make very little sense to try and wash off the dirt and pollen I got all over my feet when I didn't wear shoes outside now. It would be silly to be concerned about the pureed green beans that got all over me while trying to feed my baby brother. All of it got washed off. How often, though, do we still worry about our "spiritual dirt" from yesterday? One time, during an alter call, someone said something along the lines of "You don't have to be pure and clean to call on God. Just like you don't need a shower when you're clean, you need one when you're dirty. Let God be that shower." All of my sins, screw-ups, and spiritual dirt from yesterday that I've spent so much time fretting over, convinced I'd fallen too far from grace to be forgiven, is washed away. 1 John 1:9 tells us that "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (NIV). Just like a shower or bath cleanses us from our outer dirtiness, God will cleanse us from our spiritual dirtiness. And just like all the dirt and residue that was on my skin before got washed down the drain, never again to be sin, God has washed away my sins- those stupid mistakes I made that made me feel unforgivable- and removed them from me "as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12, NIV).
The hot water did something else, too. The tension in my neck and shoulders began to relax, and I could breathe slowly and calmly for the first time in a while. And I began to relax. I quit worrying about my failed attempts at finding a job. I quit worrying about paying for the school I feel led to go to. I quit worrying about relationships, money, etc. And just relaxed. See, this is really significant for me, being the Queen of Worry and all. I worry about everything. Possibilities that don't even cross most people's minds keep me up at night. However, when I was finally relaxing, finally not worrying, I finally was able cast all my anxieties on the Lord, even the silly ones, because He loves me (1 Peter 5:7). In Matthew 6:25-34 explains that birds don't worry about what they'll eat, yet they're still fed because God cares about each one of them. But God cares about
His children- that's us- so much more than He cares about birds. God loves us enough to take care of our problems and anxieties for us, if we will only stand back, let Him work, and wait for His call to move before we move.
Of course, peace lasted as long as my life was going well. But when stressful things happened, all my anxiety began to fall back down on me. Yesterday, I managed to run my car into a ditch. It only looked like bumper damage, and I didn't have cell phone service so I had no choice but to keep driving and hope everything was okay. I made it as far as a family friend's driveway before my engine overheated. Apparently, I had damaged more than my bumper. I spent the evening worrying about insurance going up, not having a vehicle for a while, wondering if I'd ever quit being scared to drive again, etc. I woke up this morning sore and achy from both the jolt of the car hitting the ditch and the tension in my body as I frantically made phone calls after the engine overheated. I was frazzled this morning. I couldn't find my shoes, my purse wasn't where I left it last night. What in the world am I going to do about finding a job and how much is my insurance going to go up, all that.
It's so easy to talk about peace and not worrying when life is easy. What about when it's hard? What about when things go wrong? What happens then?
That's when you're tested. I'm not sure if God intended for me to run into that ditch to to test me so that I may "come forth as gold" (Job 23:10, NIV) or to maybe save me from a worse accident later or something along those lines, or if Satan was trying to attack me and start my worrying again. Either way, I can see now how God's hand was on me the whole time. On that particular road, there are many, many places where going off the road means rolling down a huge, steep hill. But I just ran into a ditch. And houses there are few and far between, but I broke down right in front of the driveway of one of my pastor's daughters, whom I've known since birth. God protected me then. And what's amazing serving my God is knowing that he will protect me in the future. No matter what happens, I can know that God will take care of me here on Earth, up until the day He calls me home. And I have nothing to worry about.
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